


Changing Our Destiny - Incorrect Quotes

by SoulSlayer



Series: Changing Our Destiny - Season 2 (A Destiny AU) [11]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29515941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulSlayer/pseuds/SoulSlayer
Summary: Have some Changing Our Destiny randomness!
Relationships: Cayde-6/Female Guardian (Destiny), Crow/female guardian, Female Guardian/Nonbinary Guardian (Destiny), Female Guardian/Uldren Sov, Guardian/Shiro-4 (Destiny), Male Guardian/Petra Venj, The Drifter/Female Guardian (Destiny)
Series: Changing Our Destiny - Season 2 (A Destiny AU) [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777495
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Marcia: Your existence is confusing.

Blaze: What?

Marcia: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

* * *

Cayde: If I run and leap at Rae, she will most certainly catch me in her arms.

Cayde: **COMING IN!** _*runs and leaps at Rae*_

Rae: **NO! I’M HOLDING TEA!**

Rae: _*_ _drops cup of tea on the floor and catches Cayde*_

* * *

Marcia: Hey I have hobbies!

Rae: Murder doesn’t count!

Marcia: Absolutely! Murder is not a hobby. Murder is an art and I’m **PABLO FREAKING PICASSO!**

* * *

Ikora: Traveler, give me patience.

Rae: I think you mean give me strength?

Ikora: If the Traveler gave me strength, everyone would be dead.

* * *

Blaze: If I eat something, and it makes me ill, clearly that is a sign I should eat more of it & build up an immunity.

Rae: **_No!_**

* * *

Rae: Question: how long does a stick of deodorant last you?

Drifter: Usually only 3 or 4 bites.

Rae: ...

Rae: Why do I even bother?

* * *

Adam: Help, I lost my girlfriend Petra! Can you help me?

Tif: Oh sure! What does she look like?

Adam, sobbing: **_BEAUTIFUL!!!!_**

* * *

Ikora: Can someone pass the salt?

Rae: _*throws Asher across the table*_

* * *

Eris: Would you like anything to drink?

Eris: We have Dr. Pepper, Hive, water, and milk.

Rae: H…Hive...?

Eris: Hive it is then.

Rae: That’s not what I mea-!

Rae: _*is pummeled by a flock of Thralls*_

* * *

Jolyon: So, you two got kicked out of the cinema. Why?

Uldren: We were yelling diving scores when the Titanic was sinking and people were jumping off.

Blaze: That last guy had a solid eight, let me tell ya!

* * *

Ikora: Everybody be quiet, Zavala is on the phone!

Blaze: **HIIIIIIII!!!**

Marcia and Drifter: _*various fake kissing noises*_

Cayde: **AYE, PASS THE WEED!!!**

Sundance: _*blasting music*_

Ghost: **COME BACK TO BED!**

Adam: **PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!**

Rae: Tell him I said hi.

* * *

Uldren: Sorry I’m late, I was…doing things.

Cayde: _*enters the room, noticeably dishevelled*_ **HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FREAKING STAIRS!**

* * *

Blaze: Things I want: snuggles. Things I receive: struggles.

* * *

Ikora: Okay, synchronise your watches.

Rae: I don’t know how to do that.

Ghost: I don’t wear a watch.

Osiris: Time is a construct.

* * *

Marcia: We have fun! Don’t we, Rae?

Rae: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

* * *

Cayde: I turned out perfectly fine!

Rae: Just this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.

Cayde: **_I_ DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! _YOU_ DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!**


	2. Chapter 2

Blaze: Rae, we tried things your way.

Rae: No, we didn't.

Blaze: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

* * *

Rae: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Asher: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

* * *

Blaze: This was almost a great idea.

Adam: You just described 90% of our stuff.

* * *

Cayde: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

* * *

Zavala: _*Answers phone.*_ Hello?

Cayde: It's Cayde.

Zavala: What did he do this time?

Cayde: No, it's me, Cayde. It's actually me.

Zavala: What did you do this time?

* * *

Shaxx: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.

Drifter: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

* * *

Jolyon: Name a way to be nice to others.

Uldren: Don't kill them.

Jolyon: Setting the bar a little low, but I'll allow it.

* * *

Mara: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!

Petra: It's kind of complicated, but Uldren-

Mara: Got it. Forget I asked.

* * *

Blaze: I have edge.

Marcia: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

* * *

Blaze: Just be yourself, say something nice.

Uldren: Which one? I can't do both.

* * *

Ikora: I made tea.

Cayde: I don't want tea.

Ikora: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.

Cayde: Then why are you telling me?

Ikora: It's a conversation starter.

Cayde: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Ikora: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

* * *

Zavala: _*Pointing at the broken coffee machine.*_ So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.

Rae: ...I did. I broke it.

Zavala: No. No you didn't. Cayde?

Cayde: Don't look at me. Look at Ikora.

Ikora: What?! I didn't break it.

Cayde: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Ikora: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Cayde: Suspicious.

Ikora: No it's not!

Adam: If it matters, probably not, but Blaze was the last one to use it.

Blaze: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Adam: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Blaze: I use the paper cups for target practice. Everyone knows that, Adam!

Rae: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Commander.

Zavala: No! Who broke it?

Cayde: Zavala...Marcia's been awfully quiet.

Marcia: _**REALLY?!**_

_*Everyone starts arguing.*_

Zavala: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.


	3. Chapter 3

Cayde: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty...?

Shiro: Two thousand, four hundred and thirty seven glimmer.

Cayde: **_Glimmer?!_** Wait, of course glimmer. Why was that the part I was surprised by?

* * *

Blaze: Uh oh!

Adam: What?

Blaze: Somebody's in love!

Adam: Yeah, right. I just think Petra's cool. It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about her.

Adam, later that night: Uh oh.

* * *

Drifter: Am I cool or what?

Eris: What.

Drifter: I said, am I cool or-

Eris: Yeah, I heard you.

* * *

Jade: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

Shiro: And for punching me in the face?

Jade: No, you definitely deserved that.

* * *

Ikora: Everyone know what they're doing?

Rae: In general or the plan?

Ikora: The plan, Rae.

Rae: _*Sigh of relief.*_

* * *

Blaze: I tried to let go of my anger, and threw a rock at my foot!

Marcia, to Drifter: And what happened to you?!

Drifter: Oh I laughed so hard I burst a blood vessel in my nose. It's fine.

* * *

Cayde: How you hate to be wrong.

Ikora: I wouldn't know, I'm not familiar with the sensation.

* * *

Rae: Okay, I’ll add on to your ‘a’ to make ‘at.’

Blaze: Good one! I’ll add on to your ‘at’ to make ‘rat.’

Adam: I will add on to your ‘rat’ to make ‘biostratigraphic.’

Marcia: _*knocks over the board*_

* * *

Zavala: I know you snuck out last night, Cayde.

Cayde, thinking: _Play dumb._

Cayde: Who’s Cayde?

Cayde, thinking: _Not that dumb!_

* * *

Exo Stranger: Well, opinions?

Eris: I think we’re in a lot of trouble.

Exo Stranger: … That’s a great help, Eris. Drifter?

Drifter: Well, I think Eris’s right, we are in a lot of trouble.

Exo Stranger: Marcia? And if you say we’re in a lot of trouble…

Marcia: We are.

* * *

Marcia: I know what I’m doing!

Rae: Marcia, not even Paragon knows what you’re doing!

* * *

Uldren: When have I done something rash or irresponsible?

Jolyon: I keep a list. It’s alphabetised.

* * *

Rae, worried: Are you guys okay? Tell me you're okay!

Adam: We're fine.

Blaze: We're okay.

Rae: Oh, good. _*grabs them both by the ear.*_ **THEN WHAT WERE YOU TWO KNUCKLEHEADS THINKING?!** For 5 years, I have done the best I could to lead you. Have I been perfect? No! Do I know anything about fireteams? No! Should I have picked up a book on leading? Probably! Where was I going with this? I had a point.

Adam and Blaze: Sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaze: Thanks for not telling Rae what happened.

Crow, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

* * *

Azara: Knock knock!

Tif: Who’s there?

Azara: No, I’m not doing a knock-knock joke.

Tif: …No I’m Not Doing A Knock-Knock Joke who?

* * *

Rae: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?

Adam: I gotta give you credit, Blaze. You make it look easy.

Blaze: Years of practice.

* * *

Elsie: So what’s the plan?

Drifter: I don’t know. You’re smart, Moondust is mean, come up with something.

* * *

Blaze: How stupid do you think I am?!

Marcia: You really want an honest answer to that?

* * *

Jade: You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal?

Shiro: ...

Jade: That’s the sound that my brain makes all the time.

* * *

Drifter: I love disasters.

Rae: Self love is a healthy thing.

* * *

Amanda: You’re completely mad!

Cayde: Thank goodness I am, because if I wasn’t, this would probably never work!

* * *

Rae, in the distance: _**M A R C I A ! ! !**_

Crow, terrified: What was that?!

Blaze: That was the call of a Warlock who is very pissed and on a mission to fuck someone up.

* * *

Marcia: Where, exactly, is my pack of lies?

Rae: You just admitted they were a pack of lies!

Marcia: Perhaps I lied.

* * *

Drifter: I think I pulled a muscle!

Eris: You can’t pull what you don’t have.

* * *

Blaze: _*pitches an idea*_

Uldren, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Jolyon, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

* * *

Crow: Shh, here comes Rae!

Blaze: Quick, Adam, start talking about boring nerd stuff!

Adam: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist.

Blaze: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.

* * *

Elsie: Hey, Drifter is here.

Eris: OK, I’ll call the exterminator.

* * *

_*Rae opens the door*_

Zavala: Is Cayde here?

Rae: Uhh, you know what-

_*Cayde throws himself through the window*_

Rae: -he just left.

Zavala: …really?

Rae: Yeah…

_*Cayde grabs Colonel from through the broken window*_

Rae: Sorry.


End file.
